How Personality Problems in Couples Contribute to Violence in Iranian Marriages

What is it about?

This study looks at why intimate partner violence (IPV) is so common in Iran and how both partners’ personality traits contribute to it. IPV includes both psychological aggression—such as insults, threats, and yelling—and physical violence. Although many studies in Iran have focused on only one partner’s report, violence in relationships is a two-person process. To better understand these dynamics, we collected reports from both members of 198 married couples across Iran. We measured each partner’s “personality organization,” which reflects how stable their sense of self is, how they manage strong emotions, and how realistically they interpret situations. Higher scores mean more personality difficulties, such as unstable identity, rigid or extreme reactions, and trouble regulating emotions. Both partners also reported how often they used or experienced psychological and physical aggression in the past year. Our results showed that personality difficulties in either partner were linked to higher levels of relationship conflict. Partners with more unstable personality patterns were more likely to both perpetrate and experience psychological aggression. For physical violence, personality difficulties increased risk for both partners, but the pattern was not fully equal: women with higher personality difficulties were more likely to be victims of physical violence, while men’s personality traits did not predict being victimized. Overall, psychological aggression was common and relatively similar across genders, but physical violence was more often directed at wives. These findings support both perspectives: relationship conflicts can be mutual (family-violence perspective), but physical violence still disproportionately affects women in Iran (feminist perspective). This study highlights the importance of considering both partners together when understanding IPV. It also suggests that helping individuals build a stronger, more stable sense of self and healthier ways of managing emotions may reduce the risk of both perpetrating and experiencing partner violence.

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Photo by Eric Ward on Unsplash

Photo by Eric Ward on Unsplash

Why is it important?

This work is also important because it uses a modern, dimensional way of understanding personality difficulties. Instead of focusing on formal psychiatric diagnoses, we look at everyday personality patterns—like emotional instability, rigid thinking, and trouble regulating feelings—that can still affect relationships even in non-clinical populations. This makes the findings relevant for many Iranian couples, not just those in clinical settings. Our results also clarify an important debate: while psychological aggression tends to be mutual, physical violence is still much more often directed at women. This helps reconcile competing perspectives on gender and violence and provides evidence that can inform better policies and interventions. Overall, this study offers timely insights for researchers, clinicians, and policymakers by showing that both partners’ personality functioning matters and that supporting victims—not only treating perpetrators—may reduce violence. It also provides updated data from a large and diverse sample during a period of rapid cultural change in Iran, making the findings valuable for understanding today’s families.

Perspectives