The belief in an essential self explains the similarity-attraction effect

What is it about?

Why do "birds of a feather flock together"? We argue that our attraction to people who share our attributes (i.e., the similarity-attraction effect) is driven by the belief that those shared attributes are caused by something deep within us: our essential and true self. To put it concretely, we like someone who agrees with us on a political issue, shares our music preferences, or simply laughs at the same thing as us not purely because of those similarities, but because those similarities suggest something more—this person is (in essence) like me, and therefore, they share my views of the world in general.

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Why is it important?

Echo chambers, political animosity, cancel culture, and many of our current societal conflicts are driven by the idea that we tend to like and connect with those with whom we agree, and dislike and avoid those with whom we disagree. This work sheds light on why such agreement and disagreement carry such weight. We assume that people who agree with us share our essential selves, and therefore, see the world in general the same way we do. To disagree, then, is a profound thing; it can feel like a threat to our deep and essential self and our entire worldview.