What is it about?
Young children often feel frustrated when they have to wait for something they want, such as a gift. As children grow older, they usually become better at handling this frustration and show less anger. One reason for this change may be the development of language. Young children are often advised to "Use your words," and research suggests that language skills are often related to better emotion regulation. However, it is unclear how young children’s language use evolves and supports emotional development. In this study, we looked at how young children’s talking during a waiting situation was related to how strongly they showed anger. We followed children between the ages of 2 and 5.5 years while they waited for a desired reward. We paid attention to whether children talked about the task itself (for example, asking about the gift) or said things unrelated to the task. As children grew older, they increasingly used speech that was unrelated to the waiting task. Children who used more of this unrelated talk tended to show less intense anger, especially at younger ages. In contrast, children who talked more about the task or the reward showed stronger anger when they were younger, although this link became weaker as they approached school age.
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Why is it important?
Learning how to manage frustration and anger is an important part of early childhood development. Difficulties with emotion regulation in early life can affect children’s relationships, learning, and well-being later on. This study shows that the way young children use language in frustrating situations is closely linked to how strongly they express anger. In particular, talking about things unrelated to the source of frustration may help young children distract themselves and cope with frustration while they wait. Understanding these everyday strategies gives parents, caregivers, and educators insight into how children naturally use language to manage their frustration. This knowledge can help inform supportive practices that encourage healthy emotional development.
Perspectives
Rather than focusing only on how well children can speak, this study allowed us to attend to what they say in emotionally challenging situations. Observing children’s spontaneous speech during moments of frustration underscored that language is not merely a skill children are acquiring, but a tool they can use to cope with frustration. I hope this work inspires further research on the role of young children’s spontaneous speech in emotional development and encourages parents, caregivers, and educators to recognize children’s speech as a meaningful tool for coping, even when it is unrelated to the situation.
Yeunjoo Kim
Pennsylvania State University
Read the Original
This page is a summary of: Age-related changes in relations between young children’s anger and spontaneous speech during a delayed reward task., Developmental Psychology, December 2025, American Psychological Association (APA),
DOI: 10.1037/dev0002124.
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