Loneliness in daily life: Who we are with, what we do, and where we are

What is it about?

Imagine two moments in the same day: having coffee with a friend, then sitting alone at home in front of the television. We might think we know which moment is lonely, but loneliness is not quite that simple. It is not just about being alone, but about whether our social relationships feel as close, meaningful, or satisfying as we would like them to be. This means that loneliness can change from moment to moment. A person may feel connected in one situation and lonely in another, even on the same day. Our study looked at these everyday fluctuations by asking when people were more or less likely to report feeling lonely: depending on who they were with, what they were doing, where they were, and how long the situation lasted. We analysed more than 22,000 daily episodes from over 2,500 participants in the German Socio-Economic Panel Innovation Sample. The strongest pattern was about social company. People were more likely to report loneliness when they were alone, and less likely to report loneliness when they were with others. At the same time, loneliness cannot be reduced to “being alone”: many moments spent alone were not reported as lonely. Other everyday details also mattered. For example, loneliness was reported more often at home than at work or elsewhere. Some activities, such as watching television, were also linked to a higher likelihood of loneliness. Because our data are observational, we cannot say that these situations cause loneliness. What we can say is that loneliness appears to be closely connected to the small, ordinary contexts of daily life.

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Photo by Lukas Rychvalsky on Unsplash

Photo by Lukas Rychvalsky on Unsplash

Why is it important?

Loneliness is often discussed as a major public health concern, but it is not only a long-term condition or a personality-like characteristic. It can also appear and disappear across everyday moments: at the kitchen table, on the way to work, on the sofa at home, or in conversation with someone else. Our findings suggest that understanding loneliness requires more than asking who is generally lonely. We also need to ask when people tend to feel lonely in daily life, where they are, who is around, what they are doing, and how long these situations last. Understanding these momentary experiences may help researchers and practitioners develop more targeted, everyday-life-oriented approaches to loneliness and may inform future efforts to prevent chronic loneliness.

Perspectives