Sexual Relations Involve Rewards and Costs: An Analysis by Sex and Sexual Orientation

What is it about?

In the context of partnered sexual relations, sexual satisfaction can be understood as an affective response derived from the subjective evaluation of positive (sexual rewards) and negative (sexual costs) aspects. Within this framework, the Interpersonal Exchange Model of Sexual Satisfaction (IEMSS) proposes that sexual satisfaction will be greater to the extent that sexual rewards (positive, pleasurable, or gratifying exchanges) outweigh sexual costs (negative exchanges that generate discomfort, pain, shame, or anxiety). Although numerous studies have examined sexual satisfaction from this perspective, it remained unclear which sexual exchanges are most frequently perceived as rewards or costs, and whether these perceptions differ according to sex and sexual orientation. To address these questions, this study examined the most frequent sexual exchanges considered as rewards, costs, or both among 1,996 cisgender Spanish-speaking adults, both heterosexual and gay. The researchers employed the Reward/Costs Checklist (RCC), a 58-item instrument that assesses sexual interactions. This measure allows researchers to identify which experiences are perceived as pleasurable and which may cause discomfort. Based on the responses, separate rankings were created for heterosexual and gais men and women. The results showed that, across all groups (heterosexual men, heterosexual women, gay men, and lesbian women), the exchanges most valued as rewards were linked to emotional and interpersonal aspects, such as comfort with the partner, affection during the sexual encounter, and the physical sensations of contact. For example, the exchange "degree of comfort they feel with each other" was the most valued by heterosexual women, lesbian women, and gay men, and also ranked among the top items for heterosexual men. This pattern suggests that emotional bonding and intimacy are fundamental to a positive sexual experience, regardless of sex and sexual orientation. Regarding sexual costs, all four groups agreed that the most negative exchanges were those related to having sex without one's own desire, when the partner is not in the mood, or experiencing physical pain during or after intercourse. These results underscore the importance of consent, shared desire, and physical well-being as essential pillars of a satisfying sexual encounter. As for differences between groups, heterosexual men reported a greater number of rewards, whereas heterosexual women reported more costs. Gay men, on the other hand, showed a greater tendency to value some exchanges simultaneously as rewards and costs—for example, compatibility or sexual exclusivity—which could reflect a more complex evaluation or specific expectations within their sexual relationships.

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Photo by Jason Dent on Unsplash

Photo by Jason Dent on Unsplash

Why is it important?

Overall, this study concludes that both men and women, regardless of their sexual orientation, highlight emotional and intimacy aspects as the most positive elements in their sexual relationships, while situations involving sexual pressure or physical discomfort are perceived as the main drawbacks. These findings provide a more diverse and contextualized understanding of sexual satisfaction and underscore the importance of considering sex and sexual orientation when assessing and promoting sexual well-being within couples.

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