Ambivalence and Living Apart Together in Later Life: A Critical Research Proposal

What is it about?

Most unattached older persons who would like an intimate partnership do not want to remarry or be in a marriage-like relationship. A growing trend is to live apart together (LAT) in an ongoing intimate relationship that does not include a common home. We address the debate about whether LAT constitutes a new form of intimate relationship in a critical assessment of research on LAT relationships that applies ambivalence and concepts from the life course perspective.

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Why is it important?

The intimate relationships of older persons in the Western world are characterized by continuity and change. Marriage still dominates, and, as more individuals live longer and healthier lives, many marriages survive well into old age. Nevertheless, notable changes have occurred. In the past, older people were generally affected indirectly by contemporary shifts in intimate ties, for example, by their adult children’s divorces. Now, an increasing number of older persons, especially the “young old” (65 to 74 years of age) are taking an active role in these processes. The young old of today were teenagers during the sexual revolution of the 1960s and were deeply involved in the dramatic changes that characterize family life in the West. They now represent what we would describe as the graying of the family revolution.