Working Through the Unrealistic Goal Syndrome: Using a Key Bridging Question

What is it about?

Setting realistic goals is key to effective therapy, but clients often arrive with goals that are grandiose, vague, or idealized (e.g., "I just want to be rich" or "My ex needs to change"). Traditionally, social workers and therapists try to reframe or redirect these unrealistic goals toward something more achievable. However, this approach can trigger client resistance and bypass the deeper emotional meaning behind their initial request. This paper introduces a minimalist clinical method based on a single bridging question: "And then what would you feel?"

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Photo by Vitaly Gariev on Unsplash

Photo by Vitaly Gariev on Unsplash

Why is it important?

Existing techniques often recommend confronting clients with unrealistic goals (e.g., "Do you think this goal aligns with your reality?"). However, this direct confrontation can leave clients feeling misunderstood or invalidated. ​Instead, by accepting the client's stated goal as a starting point and asking a minimalist bridging question—"And then what would you feel?"—clinicians and social workers can uncover the core emotional need driving the client and translate it into viable, appropriate objectives. This bridging question strengthens the therapeutic alliance, reduces resistance, and helps formulate meaningful, achievable goals that resonate with the client's internal world while aligning with real-life possibilities.

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